Changes..

Talked to my mum just now & I told her how different I was back then. Well, I still am the same person with insecurities and all that but, when I went out with one of my BFF yesterday.. it just finally hit me.

My BFF is a science student. & I started to know her when I was 10. We both went through a lot to keep our friendship going bcoz we do not go to the same school. It was an era with no handphones, facebook and etc people..so, you can imagine the effort. We both become science stream students in high school & we both though that this is what we want to be when we grow up. The 'science' people. Trying to get into the crowd & still become successful. Well, she succeeded and I don't. I become an Art student.

I was shocked at first and vow to never change my 'science' ways. I am an Art student but, I want to retain my 'science' thinking. Foundation come and go. Then, currently going through Degree and I thought, "I'm doing well here. I can still retain my 'science'ness."

Then, yesterday.. I saw the changes. I think we both realized our own changes but, remain oblivious to it. We don't want to see it. We don't want to acknowledge it. And the changes are really staring back at us, the public can see it..I mean, come on.. I'm sure you can detect the differences between a science & art students just by looking at them. Their appearances. Their personalities. Don't deny it, I know you do.

I was scared. I don't want to change.

Somehow I guess, we don't have any choice. And you know what, I'm thankful to have my friend. I mean, she saw the changes. She can run away & abandoned me, abandoned the friendship but, she does not. She stick by me. She embraced my eccentricities just like I did with hers. That's when I make a promise that we will be friends till we die. I'm a hard person to understand and also probably, to like. People, I know I've said this before but, don't take these kind of people in your life for granted. Don't let them go. Never let them go.

Then, my mum told me that..naturally, science students are like that. They are more concern about their studies to care bout anything else. Maybe because their studies are more indoors compare to art students. Seeing my blank face, my mum smiled and said,

"Right now, you are expressing yourself. You are showing the world your own individuality. Back then, you only do what people want you to do. Now, you do what you want to do. I'm not saying this is wrong but, arts students do express more about themselves and they are liberal compare to science students. So, I am grateful you are becoming more confident but, don't forget your boundaries. As long as it is not against our religion and customs..you can do what you like."

Sigh..all of these just got me thinking and make me realized that=

1.We have our own different personality that we don't show bcoz we don't know how and we are afraid on what people will think of it. And when we show it, it is just soo different that we sometimes feel scared because it feels just right.

2.We don't realized we are changing until we are with our childhood friends.

3.We can only plan but, God will decide.

4.We can do what we want but, we must never forget our boundaries.

5.Our mum are the best advisers/counselors.

*Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up -Tom Stoppard*